Gardening

It always looks so relaxing – a bit of weeding here, a bit of planting there and a bit of digging everywhere. Then I decide to have a go and it's such hard work.

There seems so much to do – cutting the grass, pruning the shrubs/bushes, weeding the beds and borders, painting and mending the fence, cleaning the patio, planting up pots, keeping your tools clean, power washing the patio.....

I really love our back garden – sitting on the patio in the summer sun. A glass of wine, a cold beer or a cup of tea. The smells and sounds – rose blossom, birds chirping and the M621 motorway traffic just over the fence.

Some days it can feel really warm and you need to get in the shade – under one of those big umbrella things. Other days it's blowing a gale and you almost have to tie down the big umbrella otherwise it will be up and away down the M621 in to Leeds.

Sunday morning – not quite yet awake – still in that semi conscious state. The sun forcing it's way into the bedroom. Somewhere, far away, in the distance, you can hear the humming. Is it a wasp, is it a plane – no it's a bloody lawnmower. The bloke at number 5 up at the crack of dawn cutting his front grass.

You look out of the window – his lawn is immaculate – it has stripes. The edges are trimmed and there's not a weed in sight. Meanwhile your grass (not even a lawn) is like a jungle. OK I'm not putting up with this any longer – time to do something. Get a man in – dig up the grass and put some gravel and block paving down.

Maybe even put the lawnmower on eBay.

Decision made – right back to bed.